Saturday, July 24, 2010

I Am Cymbaltaed, Wellbutrin-ated and Abilified!!....

"Mommy's Little Helpers" Digital collage by Jamie Miller

Well, here I am.  Heavily medicated and closely followed by a physician and seen by a therapist weekly.  I have been Cymbaltaed, Wellbutrin-ated and Abilified.  I think we have found a good cocktail and it seems to be working for me for now.  Insomnia seems to be my biggest hurdle/side effect, but I was having that before the meds, so at least I feel happy at 3am.  I have been in therapy for 6 years and my therapist is an awesome wonderful lady.  She works with women and she does Skype and phone sessions if you are out of state.  Here is her website if you are having trouble and need to talk with someone.

My depression at this point is mainly brain chemistry, not situational.  When I am at the bottom I KNOW this, but it still feels like some sort of short coming or a failure on my part.  I have a wonderful life.  A wonderful family.  Wonderful friends.  It is amazing the million different ways we find to beat the crap out of ourselves.  So hour by hour and day by day I am finding things easier, lighter.  Enjoyment of your life is a precious gift and should be savored and cherished. I missed this home here in Blogland.  I missed my Friends.

My weight has not changed, but these are the things I also have forced myself to do.  And, by the way, enjoyed every one of them.

1.  I have been taking tennis lessons.  At first I thought, "Hey! I am kind of like a natural at this!"  Then after about three lessons I realized the coach had been throwing the balls straight at my racket and there was no way I could miss the ball.  He is very patient with me:)

2.  I put on a swimsuit and swam with my boys several times.  They loved it and so did I.  Now, it was at my neighbors house and there was no one else around, but it was a hard thing for me and I did it and I am glad.  And they (the neighbors) are going to Japan next week  and we will be swimming everyday.  I do have their permission to use the pool, by the way!  LOL!!

3.  I put on a bathing suit and a coverup and sat at a table under an umbrella at the Dallas Country Club at the pool!!!!!!!  Some friends wanted to take me out for a birthday lunch and I said Sure!  Then that morning they told me where it was going to be and my first thought was to cancel.  Then I cried in the shower and almost had a panic attack.  Then I put on my big girl boots and suited up.  But I did it and had fun and I am glad.

4.  I took the boys bowling.  I suck at it, but it was fun and I am glad.

5.  I took the boys to the Butterfly House at Fair Park.  That is where your FIT's wings come from. 

6.  I attended the Paper Cowgirl art retreat in June. It was wonderful and fun and I met so many fantastic people and saw many familiar faces from last years retreat. I forced myself to mingle and not just stay in my hotel room. Baby steps, right? I put on a pretty good happy face when I need too:) It will be a welcome time in my life every year.

So.  That's what has been going on and I have missed you all.  I have missed my art.  I have missed.  It's time to not miss anymore.

Here is the FIT for the week.  She is one of my favorite images and she is holding an orange which is wonderful.  I have colored her and cropped her for you.  You can recolor her or what ever you choose to do:)

Just right click on her and save her to your desktop.  Print her out and she's yours!  For you digital Gals, just use your lasso tool in Photoshop to cut her out and use her in your artwork:)  If you do use these images then please hop over to the Free Image Tuesday Group at Flicker and post your artwork.  There are wonderful ladies there!!!  Here is the link:)

I also added some wings for her if you would like to use this image:)

"Flutterby"  Digital collage by Jamie Miller  (FIT image free for you to use in your art masterpieces!!!)

Speaking of art...  My insomnia has produced loads of quiet arting time for me.  Here are some of the recent pieces I have been working on.  In the dark of the night:)

"Sisters"  Digital collage by Jamie Miller

"Tree House"  Digital collage by Jamie Miller

"Digital Still Life No.1"  By Jamie Miller

"Digital Still Life No.2"  By Jamie Miller

This is the PERFECT quote to end this post and it comes from Sweet Kim of  Gerushia's New World.  Please visit and see her wonderful art work! This is Pure Poetry Sweetie!!!!

"Beyond the shadows and nightmares,

there is light and dreams and hope.

Sometimes it's obvious and glorious, and

sometimes it's quiet, tucked away in our




Pat said...

Jamie, I am stunned by your talent! I can't get over the beautiful things you make and share! I used a picture of yours and printed it on a transparency (Peggy Gatto's instructions) and then watercolored over it. I would post it but not sure where to put it. Also, should I post the original from your site along side it? I feel pretty darn lame asking these questions but I need help! Thanks for all your generosity! You are wonderful!
Pat S

Crystal said...

Outstanding digital art~ You have a great eye for the unusual!

The Feathered Nest said...

Hey you know how I LOVE IT when you post???!!! I so understand your situation girl, I'm taking medication and have been for several years now (the doc just doubled my dose) to help with my depression. I have NOTHING to be depressed about so I know it's hormones...a chemical imbalance or whatever, all I know is if my medication helps me enjoy my life then I'm taking it!!

I'm so excited for all the wonderful things you're doing sweetie....I know the boys are loving it and seeing the changes in you. I have to tell you my precious friend Lisa of Tarnished and Tattered bought me some treasures from your space at Paper Cowgirls and I absolutely LOVE THEM ALL!!! I can't even use them...I will scan them but will treasure the originals always. Your taste is just wonderful sweetie!!!!!

Sorry about the long comment but I'm just very happy for you!!!!
Sending you love and hugs Jamie ~
xxoo, Dawn

Pat said...

Ok, I think I figured this out. I put the painted transparency (original from your FIT Flickr site)on my blog so you can see it at
Oh, and how do I put that cute gadget advertising your blog on my blog?
Thanks again for all you do!

Karin said...

Hi Jaime! I was so happy to sese your post pop up in my reader. I'm soooo happy for you that you are feeling better and doing well. Things are the same snarky usual with me.....and these days "the same" is good! Talk to you soon! Karin

TheresainMS said...

Jamie these are great pieces! So glad to see you blogging again. I have missed your posts. I am also glad your 'cocktail' is helping. All of us have challenges to overcome and it seems that women deal with more than men. Or maybe we are just more willing to talk about it openly. Anyway, so glad to 'see' you again and I'm looking forward to your wonderful creations. Love you!!

Gail said...

So glad you're back and feeling well. I've missed you and your talent, thanks so much for sharing this particular fit, with and w/o wings. She's simply adorable and I can't wait to make something fun with her. It sounds like your having a good summer, good for you for trying some new things.
Take care :)

Wendy said...

I'm right there with ya Sista! Mine is also chemistry. Its a wonder what you can do with a chronic problem, we survive and even thrive in a darker world.
Big hugs to you and btw, your artwork....I'm jealous (sighs deeply....smiles)

Sharon said...

These collages are amazing!!!!!

PLease send your email again I want to write to you!


Andrea said...

Jamie, So glad to see you are back creating! Praying for you!

Jan said...

My dear Jamie.... have just read your post after coming back from a week away..... stick with it my dear are too precious to let it get the better of you. Your artwork and still life studies are absoloutely stunning. I am incredulous at your talent. Thank you so much too fro the sweetest little FITS. Take care my dear. Jan xxxx

knittergirl said...

I was lucky enough to find your blog several months ago and have missed you and worried about you over the past 2 1/2 months. I am so glad to see you back at it and happy to hear that you are dealing with your depression in a positive way. Thanks so much for all the sharing you do, the images you so generously post and the personal information you divulge. They are both very impressive and inspirational.

Terri Kahrs said...

Jamie, I'm soooo happy that your therapist is wonderful and that you've determined what meds work. I'm thrilled that you found the courage to put your big girl boots and panties on to play in the pool, take the tennis lessons, go out to lunch with the girls, etc. Good For YOU!!! Am sending a tons of hugs! Terri xoxoxo

Gretz said...

I too was happy to see your blog highlghted in my reader. Love the tree house. What stunningwork :o

Chris said...

We've never corresponded, but I've missed your posts as I think you're incredibly talented and generous with your images. Please know that I really admire you for sharing the personal details of your journey with everyone. I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for you and am sending you a virtual high five!

Gerushia's New World said...


I'm so glad you're feeling good enough to come back. I surely know what you're going through. I've been on meds, off meds, back on meds, now off meds.

My depression/anxiety/OCD is chemical as well as situational and sometimes it seems like I'm drowning in my own nightmares. But, somehow, I make it through another day. Always with the ups and downs!!

You are creating some fabulous art right now!!

Good to have you back.

Gerushia's New World

Tami Roth said...

Welcome back, Jamie!!! I've missed your funny posts and art and you :) (not in that order though, silly!). Love love your 'Tree House' digi art-wow!!
I'm glad to hear you're out and about and had fun at the art convention too! Hope you stay healthy sweetie pie.
Thank you so much for the beautiful FIT too!
Hugs to you,

Nancy Maxwell James said...

thank you for the sweet comments on my blog! I am also "PRUD" of you! :) I am sorry that you had been struggling and hope that the medications will help. Stay positive and focused. Art is always great therapy for us all! :)
I adore the recent pieces you have made and always love your wonderful tin type images! HUGS and I will try to be a better blogger and keep in touch! :)

Laurie said...

Oh, this was such a wonderful post. I am so proud of you, girl! It sounds like you have your meds just right, and you are doing so much that is good for yourself! Thank heaven for the wonderful friends who wanted to treat you to lunch out, and hallelujiah that you didn't talk yourself out of it! It's so good to see you! PS I love the little girl with the orange!

Laurie said...

And the treehouse is my favorite!

Moth to a Flame Studio said...

It's about time girl!! lol
Every morning with coffee and NO Jamie is extremely boring. (sigh)
Yeah!!! Your back! So glad, I have missed you, you know. Sounds like you are having some fun too!
Good for you for getting out there and swimming is excellent excersize for the mind and body:)
Wow, your digital collage work just keeps getteing better and better - holy smokes! I am in love with the tree house and the cranium ones. YOU are an inspiring person.
Love ya lots, Lisa

Dorthe said...

Jamie, so lovely that you are back here.
I think I already wrote you that I take medicines , and have done for 3 years now--so I know what it is to be there, dear.
Great with all the activities you have joined lastly, I`m sure your boyes love you swimming with them.
Thanks dear for the very sweet image, and all the best.

Marie Lost Bird Studio said...

Hi Jamie,
glad you're back and feeling better.Love your art work!
Oooh thank you so much for the beautiful free image.Have a wonderful day.
Big Hugs to you.

Andrea said...

Jamie,YEAH!!!!! So glad you signed up for the class!!

genzoddy said...

Your artwork is beautiful! And thank you so much for the free image. The little girl is delightful! Karen

Anne - Fiona and Twig said...

Oh Jamie, I had no idea.

I understand, I struggle with pretty severe depression at times, too. It's a hard road, and most folks just think you should snap out of it.
Yeah, if only.

I'm here for you if you ever want to talk....I mean it!

Hugs and prayers,

Anji Johnston said...

Missed you soooo much! I am so glad that life is moving in the right direction for you Jamie - baby steps, that's all can expect right now. But soon your life will be full of giant leaps! Take it from me - done it been there. And at the end of this rocky path you are traveling you will find so much beauty and love at the end of it. It's so good to have you back and your artwork has taken on a new lease of life. Loved it before but I think I love it even more now!! Big hugs Anji XxX

Tumble Fish Studio said...

Lookie, lookie, lookie at all of your comments! Alot of folks are happy to hear from YOU! Just a drop in the bucket of how many people love you and are cheering you on dear lady. Not that you are not special and your problems special, because you are and they are, but it is important to know that you are not alone, that many of the people that love you, have walked this road you are on and have made it to the other side. The point is to keep walking and pretty soon you'll be further down the road than you thought. And you have folks that will hold your hand as you go and others will clap and cheer from the sides as you go by. But there are many that are with you, wherever you are on the road at whatever pace you go. I started a piece a while back called Emerging. It is just layed out on my computer and not finished or cut or anything. You have inspired me to work on it again and finish it. It may be my next and first piece in this transition time for me. See, there you go being an inspiration, too! Love you!

Cheryl Carey Bass said...

Jamie! I've been trying to get in touch with you, but dang it, I can't get your email address anywhere! So, this is the only way I know how. Please email me ASAP so I can email you back with something important! Remember me from Paper Cowgirl? Cheryl Bass. I sat with you at lunc on Friday? Please go to my blog and click on my email button on the top right corner so you can email me and I can email you back! Thanks.

peggy gatto said...

I have missed you so!!!!
Keep up the new adventures and take the chances, you are dear to so many!!!!!!

Gerushia's New World said...

Hey Jamie:

Just thought I would pop back over here to let you know that, of course, you can use my quote!! I'm humbled that you would even consider it!

Gerushia's New World

P.S. Just a side note ~ I'm having an art give-away on my blog this week!

Katsui Jewelry said...

You are doing all the right things! I have been there, too, as have so many of us. I pray that it gets easier and easier!


Gerushia's New World said...


Wow, thanks for using my little quote. I sure appreciate it.

Gerushia's New World

Gerushia's New World said...


I adore the art piece you made using my quote. Is it possible for me to share it on my blog and facebook?

Gerushia's New World

cindy said...

Jamie Jam! I was so very, very glad that you came to PC. Was so great to see ya again and I heard nothing but raves about your booth. I was glad we got to spend a little time together, wish it had been more. Next year....I'm hiring an assistant AND staying at the hotel. Cause I missed ALL the fun this year. LOL.

Thanks for the sweet image and love your digi art...its wonderful.

love and hugs,

vintagesusie & wings said...

I LOVE everything about this post Jamie! Hope fills your cyberspace page & in simple abundance we find our joy. Kim's gorgous poem is the map to finding the 'bluebird of happiness'. She is so is found in the 'everyday'. Thank you for reminding me of this friend, I have Missed you too! & from one insomiac to another, don't discount what a simple benedryl can do when you do want to sleep. I never leave home without it!lol

Suz said...

Thanks for becoming a follower, Jamie! I hope the depression abates. It is so hard to do things when you are depressed. I admire that. I sometimes just vegetate!

Chris said...

Hi Jamie,
I'm still getting the hang of this blogger thing, so my apologies for leaving another comment vs. email; wasn't sure how to do that thru here. Hope all is well with you and that you're surviving the TX heat! Take care!

Julie Whitmore Pottery said...

You are so right about baby steps,
I am so proud of you for going to the swimming pool too. Isn't it wonderfully freeing to swim? I always feel as bouyant and light as a dandelion puff when I swim,
You are amazing, to tackle your situation head on. Hugs and love

Feathers and Flight said...

Thank You so Much for the Little Winged Sweetpea! She is Adorable!

Amy said...

That tree house soo rocks!! Love to the spooky sister's..adore that and how you made them like ghosts! Thanks for the fabulous yellow girl..she's shining in yellow!

jan said...

"So the days pass, and I ask myself whether one is not hypnotized, as a child by a silver globe, by life, and whether this is living."
~ Virginia Woolf
Hi Jamie, I had posted earlier on your latest post and now after reading this, I see you have already been seeking help for your depression... "don't give up girl!" Some cocktail will work - I'm right there w/ ya. ~ Jan

Tammy said...

Oh my gosh, the tree house is fabulous! the colors the feel you nailed it. Love it!

Can you send me your email? Thanks!


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