Saturday, July 24, 2010

I Am Cymbaltaed, Wellbutrin-ated and Abilified!!....

"Mommy's Little Helpers" Digital collage by Jamie Miller

Well, here I am.  Heavily medicated and closely followed by a physician and seen by a therapist weekly.  I have been Cymbaltaed, Wellbutrin-ated and Abilified.  I think we have found a good cocktail and it seems to be working for me for now.  Insomnia seems to be my biggest hurdle/side effect, but I was having that before the meds, so at least I feel happy at 3am.  I have been in therapy for 6 years and my therapist is an awesome wonderful lady.  She works with women and she does Skype and phone sessions if you are out of state.  Here is her website if you are having trouble and need to talk with someone.

My depression at this point is mainly brain chemistry, not situational.  When I am at the bottom I KNOW this, but it still feels like some sort of short coming or a failure on my part.  I have a wonderful life.  A wonderful family.  Wonderful friends.  It is amazing the million different ways we find to beat the crap out of ourselves.  So hour by hour and day by day I am finding things easier, lighter.  Enjoyment of your life is a precious gift and should be savored and cherished. I missed this home here in Blogland.  I missed my Friends.

My weight has not changed, but these are the things I also have forced myself to do.  And, by the way, enjoyed every one of them.

1.  I have been taking tennis lessons.  At first I thought, "Hey! I am kind of like a natural at this!"  Then after about three lessons I realized the coach had been throwing the balls straight at my racket and there was no way I could miss the ball.  He is very patient with me:)

2.  I put on a swimsuit and swam with my boys several times.  They loved it and so did I.  Now, it was at my neighbors house and there was no one else around, but it was a hard thing for me and I did it and I am glad.  And they (the neighbors) are going to Japan next week  and we will be swimming everyday.  I do have their permission to use the pool, by the way!  LOL!!

3.  I put on a bathing suit and a coverup and sat at a table under an umbrella at the Dallas Country Club at the pool!!!!!!!  Some friends wanted to take me out for a birthday lunch and I said Sure!  Then that morning they told me where it was going to be and my first thought was to cancel.  Then I cried in the shower and almost had a panic attack.  Then I put on my big girl boots and suited up.  But I did it and had fun and I am glad.

4.  I took the boys bowling.  I suck at it, but it was fun and I am glad.

5.  I took the boys to the Butterfly House at Fair Park.  That is where your FIT's wings come from. 

6.  I attended the Paper Cowgirl art retreat in June. It was wonderful and fun and I met so many fantastic people and saw many familiar faces from last years retreat. I forced myself to mingle and not just stay in my hotel room. Baby steps, right? I put on a pretty good happy face when I need too:) It will be a welcome time in my life every year.

So.  That's what has been going on and I have missed you all.  I have missed my art.  I have missed.  It's time to not miss anymore.

Here is the FIT for the week.  She is one of my favorite images and she is holding an orange which is wonderful.  I have colored her and cropped her for you.  You can recolor her or what ever you choose to do:)

Just right click on her and save her to your desktop.  Print her out and she's yours!  For you digital Gals, just use your lasso tool in Photoshop to cut her out and use her in your artwork:)  If you do use these images then please hop over to the Free Image Tuesday Group at Flicker and post your artwork.  There are wonderful ladies there!!!  Here is the link:)

I also added some wings for her if you would like to use this image:)

"Flutterby"  Digital collage by Jamie Miller  (FIT image free for you to use in your art masterpieces!!!)

Speaking of art...  My insomnia has produced loads of quiet arting time for me.  Here are some of the recent pieces I have been working on.  In the dark of the night:)

"Sisters"  Digital collage by Jamie Miller

"Tree House"  Digital collage by Jamie Miller

"Digital Still Life No.1"  By Jamie Miller

"Digital Still Life No.2"  By Jamie Miller

This is the PERFECT quote to end this post and it comes from Sweet Kim of  Gerushia's New World.  Please visit and see her wonderful art work! This is Pure Poetry Sweetie!!!!

"Beyond the shadows and nightmares,

there is light and dreams and hope.

Sometimes it's obvious and glorious, and

sometimes it's quiet, tucked away in our




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